Mean sister -- Do not disturb -- Ex dysmorphia -- Almost pretty -- Is everything gonna be fine? -- Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: I -- Why God is definitely real -- Too full to fuck -- So embarrassing -- Love you to death -- Insecurity when you're the new girlfriend -- Environ-mental mom -- Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: II -- Shit-talking etiquette -- My parasite -- Privileged assistant -- I got a cat for my anxiety -- This essay doesn't pass the Bechdel test -- Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: III -- Moving out -- Erase me -- Thanksgiving.

"From writer/director Cazzie David comes a series of acerbic, darkly funny essays about anxiety, social media, misanthropy, and growing up in a wildly eccentric family"-- Provided by publisher.

For David, the world is one big trap door leading to death and despair and social phobia. Here the writer/director chronicles her life's most chaotic moments with wit, bleak humor, and a mega-dose of self-awareness. Her essays create a series of acerbic, darkly funny essays about anxiety, social media, misanthropy, and growing up in a wildly eccentric family. -- Adapted from back cover